Lawyers

The following questions were actually asked by lawyers. They were compiled by a client of Johnson & Hatch, a Salt Lake City law firm.

Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?

Q: What happened then? A: He told me, he says, “I have to kill you because you can identify me. Q: Did he kill you?

Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

The youngest son, the 20-year old, how old is he?

Were you alone or by yourself?

How long have you been a French Canadian?

Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture. A: That’s me. Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now? A: I’ll be three months on November 8.

Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was Aug. 8. A: Yes. Q: What were you doing at that time”

Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable? A: I used to be. Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

So you were gone until you returned?

Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: How many were girls?

You don’t know what it was, and you didn’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Have you lived in this town all your life? A: Not yet.

A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, “Your Honor, I’d like to strike the next question.”

… Author unknown